I always have a hand full of half filled disposable cameras in my closet. I'm a memory hoarder, plaaaain and simple.  I'm seriously the worst to travel with when it comes to taking pictures because I have to switch off between my DSLR, polaroid, snapchat, and disposable camera haha.

Disposables are so much fun though because it takes me so long to get them developed, that by the time I actually do, it's a complete surprise!!

I took three cameras in last week and just barely got the film back and you guyyyyys. MY HEART!!! So many memories scattered from the last year of my life, and I love it all. Here's some of my favorites:

I’m sitting in an airport, somewhere in the middle east, all alone, waiting to board a flight to India. 

That’s pretty cool right??

I thought about the younger version of myself, and what she’d think of it. I came to the conclusion that she’d be thrilled, no doubt, but surprised?? Hardly. 

You see, the little girl version of me had BIG plans.

Since the day I mumbled my first words, “Hit Me Baby One More Time” I knew I was destined for stardom. Fame was all I wanted.

In seventh grade I met with a school counselor, and together we filled out a paper discussing my goals, and future career paths. She asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I told her point blank, 

“I want to be famous.”

Before I begin, let's get on the same page.

this is not a 'how to'.

there are a number of subjects I feel qualified enough to give tutorials, or "how to" articles on.

"How to use your infinite One Direction knowledge to score you your dream job" - A true passion of mine I wish to share with the world someday.

"How to become best friends with Paris Hilton" - another title I've dabbled with.

And "How to reach the smallest degree of internet fame to the point of being consistently talked negatively about in local group messages around your hometown" - a class I've dreamt of teaching for years. 

But "How to love your body" is a topic not included in my repertoire of step-by-step guides.

because... I'm simply no expert.

All I can do is share my thoughts and experiences, and maybe inspire you to stop sending Kendall Jenner hate mail for her god given flawless bone structure.

We good? Let's go.

1. You have to teach your heart to accept what it cannot change

This was the year I finally let go of my first love. I had spent the last four years loving him, and hating him. Things weren't good and they hadn't been good for a long time, but I held on. Over the years, we had changed so much. We loved each other, but that was about the only thing we had in common. And I believed with all my heart that 'love' was enough. It didn't matter how many times we fought, or how many times I drove away from his house crying.  We loved each other, and for that reason alone, I still. held. on. 

I remember reading the quote "Teach your heart to accept what cannot be changed"

And it hit me like a train. I spent so much time wishing things were the way they were when we were 16 and stupid in love. I wanted him to fight for me. I wanted him to love me. I wanted him to change. 

And once I realized that I could not change him, I could not make him fight for me, I could not make him love me...

I let go. 

I'm basic.

I'm not ashamed of it.

In the same way that every boy that went to my high school still has their football highlight reels in their twitter bios, in the same way that every 11 year old in America would sell their soul to Jake Paul, and in the same way that every white dad has to ask if 'there's a booth available?' 

I'm basic.

But I wear that stereotype with pride. 

Hi, I'm indy, Im 20 years old and I have a blog. A youtube channel. And seasonal depression.

The poster child for millenials everywhere!

To me, it's cool and its what I like to do. I like to write and I like to make videos. But it's sooooo looked down upon lately!

Bloggers, instagramers, and youtubers are the easiest target. 

AND IIIII GETTTTT ITTT.

I would probably rather dive into an overflowing dumpster than swipe up to shop your cable knit fall sweater, Hailey, no offense sweetie

but I wish there was more support out there in our weird little internet world, you know? 

Especially for us basic folk.

You see that guy in the crown?” I said to Tristen, pointing a few rows in front of us. “Our goal is to get to him. From there, we’ll pick someone else.”  He nodded and we immediately began scanning the crowd around us, looking for any sort of space we could slip into. 

MGMT took the stage and I bobbed up and down, mumbling lyrics, hands dancing in the air, still looking at crown guy and plotting how we could get to him.

last night, I was on the phone with someone and he asked me how my day was and I replied

"Ahhh, I feel like I just wasted a day. I had so much to do and I didn't really do anything."

And as soon as the words left my mouth, I hated it. I hate that I admitted to wasting a day! I actually thought about it a lot, and it wasn't until I was laying in bed that night, you know, the normal nightly routine where you close your eyes, think of every possible unlikely incredible fantasy you can create, like making out with justin bieber, or going grocery shopping with meryl streep. And you know, usually around this time, just riiiight before you drift off into nothingness, you start to think and analyze about really random things that cause you stress like, climate change, or 'clueless' being taken off netflix, or all the little african babies who need love and attention, or the fact that you just wasted an entire day of your life that you will never get back.

I had my mind over analyzing that last one for awhile last night. It was just bugging me so bad, because I feel like i've had a lot of those days lately.

you meet certain people in life, that are just good. good people.

you file these good people into your "good people" folder naturally.

my folder includes the likes of,

- randy, the homeless man who sits outside of temple square and always tells me to have a good day

- sahalie donaldson, one of my best friends who always hypes up a good snapchat selfie

- mrs jones, my seventh grade English teacher who always sat me next to my crush no matter how often the seating chart changed

and most recently, Weslie and Bronson Christensen.

"when I'm 80, this will be a good story to tell."

and if you know me, I'm a storyteller. I'm filled to the brim with embarrassing moments, unbelievable "how did you pull that off?" encounters, and plenty of "you had to be there's"

So when my total stranger, might be a serial killer, air bnb host, woke me up at 2 am, all I saw it as was the beginning to a potentially really really good story.

My life, summed up in a sentence, is just a collection of really really good stories I'll tell my grandkids when I'm 80.

And the reason I'm telling you all of this, is because tomorrow I turn 20.

two, zero.

which, means of course, the end of 19.

And when you're a sentimental soul like myself, you're really bad at goodbyes. like, TERRIBLE at goodbyes.

things I was in high school:

1. late. as in, every single day late. as in, the office ladies and I were on first name basis, and they gave me balloons and flowers on my last day of attendance school. Miss u Barb. 

2. ugly. haha, okaaaaaayyyyyy maybe that's a strong word. But I look at pictures from those days and think "WOW, why didn't anyone tell me to get ready in the mornings?" And then I remembered. It's cause I was always late.

You probably came here expecting witty insight on our world's most important issues, like WILL Kourtney and Scott ever get back together???? Or WHAT is the best song on Harry's new album?? Maybe you came here hoping I finally pulled myself together and wrote the Europe blog post I have been promising for approximately 3 and a half months.

Whatever you were expecting, I urge you to turn around now. Today's post, is my annual, dramatic, hormonal teenage girl, "my life is falling apart" blog post. I try and hold out as long as I can on these ones. Ratings totally tank. Your overall respect for me as a member of society drops. Everyone is a little uncomfortable.

But hey, some people like to witness the downfall of others.

This is where I discovered two new things about myself. I was a writer. And I was a manipulator.

Thus, my love for writing was born. I used my talents in all areas of life. I wrote pop songs, dramatic journal entries, plays, short novels, love notes to Seth Pratte, ect. Writing was my outlet, it was how I expressed myself. Sometimes I used writing, or big words to intimidate others. Like the time my mom was called in for a parent-teacher conference after my first day of fourth grade, because I wrote on my "goals for the school year" paper:

1. I will not be the teacher's victim.

Coming home from Thailand, I was a better person. I feel like I learned more on this trip, than I did in 4 years of high school. (granted, if high school involved riding elephants in a tropical forrest, I probably would have paid more attention.) And when I say learning, no, I didn't learn about the quadratic formula or why Abigail Williams from the crucible is a total slut.

I learned real life lessons. Every single day we were there, I had moments that changed me. Lessons that will help me out for the rest of my life. And since I'm a good person once or twice a week, i'll share these precious life lessons with you.

I'm a bucket list kind of girl.

It's mostly in my mind, but sometimes I'll write down my biggest hopes and dreams.

1.  Work for Vogue 
2.  Watch the Olympics in person
3.  Braid Snoop Dogg's hair
4.  Become the Nanny for Harry Styles someday in the future when he has multiple gorgeous and talented children with curly hair and slowly ruin his marriage from the inside and steal him for myself
5. Freestyle battle Childish Gambino
6. Make a vine with Mr. Moseby and get him to say "stop running in my lobby"
7. Move to LA
8. Swim in the Mediterranean sea
9. Nobel Prize
10. Go to Space
11. Take a selfie with Billy Ray Cyrus
12. Mother Leonardo Dicaprio's children
13. Make a viral video

Some call it crazy, some call it ambitious, but I am here today to tell you that I have officially crossed off my first item.

Hi guys! sorry to leave you hanging, I'm so bad at consistently posting. In my head, i'll think of a hundred things I need to be doing before I write a post. Like watch Stranger Things all the way through. twice. Like writing and publishing a novel. Like setting a world record. Like finding Jimmy Fallon's address and breaking up his marriage.... you know, really important things.

I honestly couldn't even think of where to start, so I'll just give you guys a quick little life update. 

Over on instagram you guys asked me some questions. I was overwhelmed with the response! Thank you! I mean seriously, I was relying on my mom and my girls camp counselor from 2010 to be the only commenters but you guys pulled through. This is probably what Ryan Lochte felt like last week when he was being questioned. Except without all the Harambe references.

(seriously guys, whats with all the Harambe questions? Let a girl HEAL.)

Like I said though, TONS of questions, so I'll skip my usual self deprecating introduction and dive right in.
 

A lot of people ask me how I travel so much, and what my tips and tricks are.

I've never been an expert in anything besides Harry Potter trivia, so these questions flatter, and also intimidate me.

This summer has already been 10/10 and its only july?!?! Best summer ever I think. I've watched the sun fall behind the New York City skyline, and i've seen it dance along the horizon of the pacific ocean. And I still couldn't tell you which one I like more. here's my latest video documenting the best days of my life so far. (blog post about each seperate trip coming soon --- once I finish 90210 on netflix) 

Wonder where Indy gets her passion for making movies?  Hello!  I'm Brooke Severe, Indy's Mom, Thank you very much.  

I saw a tweet today that said:

"I graduate in 4 days. What the heck am I supposed to do with my life??"

Ahhh, the sweet words of a stressed out high school senior. We're we ever so young? Just kidding. that was me last year. but more along the lines of "I graduate in four days and I'm having a panic attack send help immediately I don't want to grow up I don't want to be an adult SOS"