it’s still cool to care

A few weeks ago, I opened my Instagram app to see a selfie of Kim Kardashian and her kids. She was wearing a gloved bodysuit in a sort of metallic material that resembled a garbage bag. On her face, massive bug eye sunglasses. Her kids donned similar looks all complete with the same alien lenses. In the caption, she tagged @yeezy.

I ran to the comment section because it had been months since Kim had publicly aligned with her ex husband in any way. 

Some of the comments were also speculating about a potential reunion. But the comments that caught my eye had to do with the outfit itself.

The commenters were angry. Angry at how Kanye and Kim can keep pushing this bullshit “fashion” on us. 

“This is trash. Literally”

“Does he think anyone actually likes this or is he really that stupid?”

“This is the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen”

“Kanye has lost his touch”

“It’s giving alien”

“How can people call this fashion?”

I thought about this post a little longer than I probably should have. (Maybe a little gummy treat was involved, but just know, I was deep in my head.)

I have my own mixed feelings about Kanye, but something I’ve always admired about him is his ability to experiment. The freedom he has to experiment.

I envy that a little bit. He is not tied down by social constructs. 

Kanye doesn’t care about what’s cool.

Speaking of aliens, what would they think about us? And our lifelong mission to be perceived as “cool”? 

How do we explain Juvaderm? Or facetune? How would we justify the overall purpose of social media? I want to see someone explain The Renegade challenge to an alien.

I cringe when I think about how much of my life I have wasted trying to prove that I was cool.

That I was with it. I was aware. I fit in. I fit the mold. 

I was the type of girl to say I loved a band I’d never heard of so I could attempt to control how people thought of me. I wanted them to like me. I wanted them to think I was cool enough to know the cool bands. 

But who decides what bands are the cool bands anyway???

Seriously, who decides any of this? Whats on trend, what is “cheugy” - it’s all made up.

The reason I bring up aliens is because it seems as though it would take an otherworldly intervention for us to see how crazy this all really is. 

That we live and die by trends. 

That we let other people tell us what is cool, what is socially acceptable, what’s in and what’s out. 

This is how we shape our society.

But what if instead of trying to prove ourselves, we started intentionally focusing on expressing ourselves?

Not taking into consideration what your friends think is cool, or what tiktok thinks is cool. 

What if we genuinely embraced what we actually liked?

I hate tomatoes. Since I was a kid. I gag at the thought. I’ve returned to tomatoes throughout my life, hoping my palette had matured.

But no matter how many times society tries to sell me that tomatoes are delicious…my tastebuds simply disagree. 

Bella Hadid could personally invite me to her farm in Pennsylvania, pick me fresh tomatoes out of her garden, and braid my hair, serenading me with Fleetwood Mac while I eat them. 

I’m still not going to like tomatoes. 

I wish we could honor our interests the way we honor the food we love (and hate.) Because nobody cares if I like tomatoes or not. 

But if I wear something bold, or revealing, if my nipple barely pokes through my shirt, all hell breaks loose. 

If I admit that I lowkey enjoy Glee from time to time, my followers contemplate sending someone for a wellness check. 

What if I like Glee’s rendition of Valerie by Amy Whinehouse?? Why is loving show tunes still so controversial?

To me, this is what makes the human experience so exciting. The fact that it is so completely individual. Each of us are viewing reality from a different lens that cannot be replicated. We are all perfectly unique. It sounds very Pinterest, very Hobby Lobby, but I’m telling you - once you grasp how incredible this is, you finally start to value your individuality. 

Why do you like tomatoes and I hate them? Why does Jackson love learning about sumo wrestling and I have a fixation with the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire??

I’m over what the collective public thinks is cool. 

I want to know what YOU think. In your rare, exclusive mind. 

Based off of your one of a kind life experience…what is cool to you? 

I want to know the woo-woo you subscribe to. That you don’t want to tell anyone else about.

I want to see the shoebox filled with birthday cards you’ve kept since you were six. 

I am actually interested in your Spotify wrapped playlist. I want to know what songs you connect with. I can google the top 40 hits. Give me YOU.

It just makes me think,

What would I wear if there were no models, no Shein hauls, no popular girls or influencers trying to convince me what is hot or not? 

What would I wear if there was no possibility I would get made fun of? 

What would I wear if I were simply experimenting?

How would your life change?

If no one cared about being “cool” and instead, just owned what was cool to them?

What is that thing that is just for you? 

Tyler The Creator also talks about this.

“Being cool, having the biggest songs don’t matter all the time. It’s, what is your skill? What is the skill that you bring?”

We all have a skill. We all have a lane. What would our world looked like if we all found our lane?

I also love when he says, 

“You can’t be too cool or you’re gonna freeze to death”

This resonates with me and my own brand. It’s easy to get caught up in what other people want. Trying to please the masses. 

But when I first started Lonely Ghost, I told my business partner,

“I don’t ever want to put out a product I wouldn’t wear myself”

Because at the end of the day, what’s the point of selling stuff I don’t like?

This brand is an expression of me. Of my most real self. 

This is my lane.

I’m not researching data to discover the big color trend, I’m picking fabrics and pieces I’ve dreamt of for years. I’m recreating my favorite childhood t-shirts.

I’m ditching influencer marketing and choosing to send product to actual fans of our brand.

I’m making fake grocery stores for crying out loud.

Im experimenting. 

Because I care. I care about the details. I care about tags. I care about captions. I care about the connections.

I care about what I put out.

And that’s cool. Giving a fuck is cool!!

My favorite example of this is kids.

Kids are cool, because they have no concept of what that really means. 

I was watching Seven the other day. Just observing him in his little world. He is so fascinating to me. 

How he is so perfectly himself. When he wants something, he asks for it. He makes his needs known whenever he has the chance.

He isn’t worried about people pleasing. Or being “too much.” He doesn’t fear his friends and family getting sick of him and his needs.

He just is.

And holy shit it’s so cool.

I love how much he loves what he loves. He is a passionate mini human. Right now, he’s really into Toy Story. The joy of my life is watching him zoom around our living room, trying to balance on one foot and “fly” like Buzz Lightyear.

He never once stops to think about looking silly. Or annoying. Or cool for that matter.

The boy just loves Buzz.

I know this goes broader than fashion, but it’s easy for me to connect to.

Because if a kid likes minions, he’s going to wear his minion shirt on the first day of school. And he’s not worried about being made fun of or being cool.

And that’s what I love about kids. This is why I’m always trying to be more like them.

More curious. More playful. Less concerned with how they look. True to themselves!

I know this is a magical phase we’re in. Seven & I. Him living in his little untouched reality. And me, taking it all in, knowing soon he won’t think his Chicka Boom Boom shirt is cool anymore. 

Part of me wants to keep him this small. This unaware. I want him to always be able voice his needs. I never want him to fear he is being too much. 

I dream of a life where he is unapologetic about his interests and hobbies. 

I dream of a world where he can express his true self through his art, through his words, through his passions.

And someday, I hope he realizes that honest self expression…is the coolest thing of all time.

Honor your individuality. Respect your unique human experience. Find out what you love and shout it from the rooftops.

And I know we talked about how lame it is to live and die by trends, but let’s just get one thing clear:

NOT CARING = OUT

CARING =IN

ITS COOL TO CARE
DROPPING MONDAY 8/29