it's cool to care
I’ve always felt like I cared too much.
About relationships, new friends, school projects, planning trips, birthday shoutouts, Coachella outfits, the back stories and personal lives of every cast member of the movie I just watched, you know. Stuff like that.
But sometimes, it really does feel like my greatest weakness.
And I know how cliche that sounds. That’s like in job interviews when people say their greatest weakness is being a “perfectionist.”
YAWN. How can “caring too much” be a weakness?
But it is. Or it feels like it, at least.
Because, we live in a world with a “no one cares” mentality.
“No one cares about your gender reveal.” “No one cares about your skincare routine.” “No one cares about your political opinions” “No one cares about your Spotify wrapped playlist.”
“No one cares about your gym selfies.” “No one cares about your family trip to Disneyland” “No one cares about your firework show instagram story.”
So when you’re someone who gets excited about little things like, picking out your best outfit for a concert, or finding the hidden gems of trader joe’s….being on the internet can cripple that excitement.
NOTHING is cool anymore.
And if you really want to find out *just* how uncool you are, post something you’re excited about on twitter, and just wait.
Just wait.
And then proceed to crawl into the hole that the vicious Gen-Z mob embarrassed you into.
Being….excited… about something??????? In this economy? I think I’m going to be sick.
We don’t even realize how much we’re slowing ourselves down by making what’s ‘cool and acceptable’ fit into the tiniest, most exclusive box.
Can we just normalize giving a fuck? Please?? Let’s even take it a step further. Let’s make giving a fuck, the coolest thing you can do. Let’s make THAT the box.
Because if I learned anything in 2020, it’s that we need excitement to survive.
We need that glimmer of hope to keep us from going insane.
Now more than ever, we need that over the top excitement for anything we can get.
We need the energy of the girls who burst out into tears when their favorite boyband wins a teen choice award.
That energy can fuel a nation.
The problem with this “nothing is cool” attitude, is it makes you second guess everything.
How many things did you stop doing because someone made you feel stupid for it?
I remember telling an old friend about starting a YouTube channel a few years back.
She literally laughed at me. I played it off, but it was to the point where she was using “Indy has a YouTube channel” as a punchline when we’d see other friends out.
It sucked that my friend didn’t think what I was doing was cool, but it also sucked because now I didn’t even know if what I was doing was cool anymore.
For two years, I agonized over every YouTube video I posted, half of the time, convincing myself to trash videos all together. All because I was afraid of my videos being sent to a group message and getting made fun of. All because a “friend” made me feel embarrassed for something I was excited to tell her about.
Two things are crystal clear, looking back on this situation now.
The fact that I was probably already being made fun of in a group chat anyway. So me not posting videos was only hurting me. They were already talking about me, I should have at least given them some good content to discuss.
2. This friend of mine didn’t actually think my YouTube channel was dumb. She was just mad she didn’t start one first. I know this because now…she has a YouTube channel.
I’m sure we all have a story like that we can relate to. But let it be your reminder that if you’re really stoked about something and your friend isn’t…they’re not your friend.
Your friends will be your first subscribers. They’ll be at the finish line of your first marathon. They’ll dress up in wizard robes with you and take every photo op you could dream of at Harry Potter world.
If it’s cool to you, it’s going to be cool to your friends.
This collection was all inspired by a simple DM I received a few months ago.
The dm said,
“this is cheesy but it really makes me happy how you embrace being the friend that cares! I always felt like I was too much and I feel like your stuff makes it cool to be nice/caring.”
When I read “how you embrace being the friend that cares” I stopped in my tracks.
This girl was complimenting me, using something I have tormented myself with for years.
My problem, is that I get attached to people very easily.
I remember being young, broke, and living out of a suitcase about 4 years ago. I was traveling with a friend in Southern California and we had nowhere to stay. In the most bizarre turn of events, and our absolute last resort…we ended up staying at the house of her ex boyfriend’s family. It was just supposed to be one night. Because…awkward.
But I quite literally fell in love with my best friends ex boyfriends family, and ONE WEEK after we were supposed to find another couch to surf on - I was crying in the car, waving goodbye as we drove off. Wondering if I’d ever see them again.
I care so deeply, so quickly.
It sounds sweet, and endearing, but these feelings are a double edged sword.
I get so attached, that when/if I ever feel the friendship begin to detach, I tighten my grasp.
This has hurt so many of my friendships, and absolutely wrecked my self esteem.
It’s such an empty feeling, when you push people away through your desperation to keep them close.
Because it leaves you wondering, what did I do? What did I say? Where did I go wrong?
It’s almost easier when there’s a direct conflict, or an unresolved issue to blame.
There is nothing worse than feeling like you pushed someone away because you were “too much.”
But this sweet DM reminded me that, I am in fact “too much.” And maybe it took a complete stranger saying it for me to finally realize that being “too much” wasn’t a bad thing.
In fact, this girl even saw it as a cool thing.
And once I saw from her point of view, it clicked.
It was cool.
Caring is cool.
And whatever angsty Forever 21 intern made us feel otherwise in 8th grade can go to straight to hell.
This collection is for anyone who has ever felt like they were “too much.”
I want to hug you all and tuck you in to bed and tell you how special you are for seeing life the way you do.
And then I’ll make you pinky promise me to never ever ever ever again, feel ashamed or embarrassed for caring about something that is important to you.
Because it really is cool to care.
It’s cool to care about learning the lyrics to your new favorite songs.
It’s cool to care about your grades. It’s cool to care about reading yelp reviews. It’s cool to care about remembering names. It’s cool to care about who the Bachelor picks. It’s cool to care about your favorite YouTuber getting engaged. It’s cool to care about making it to the front row of your favorite band’s concert.
It’s cool to care about the trailers before movies. It’s cool to care about your senior quote. It’s cool to care about your Instagram aesthetic. It’s cool to care about looking up the astrology chart of every person you ever meet.
It’s cool to care about your Starbucks order. It’s cool to care about the pockets in your dresses. It’s cool to care about your favorite 90’s sitcom getting rebooted. It’s cool to care about your friends ideas. It’s cool to care about your future. It’s cool to care about how KIMYE’s divorce settlement is going. It’s cool to care about your first kiss being special. It’s cool to care about the planet. It’s cool to care about your internet friends. It’s cool to care about showing up on time. It’s cool to care about following the rules. It’s cool to care about documenting your memories. It’s cool to care about finding the best Anthropologie mirror dupe. It’s cool to care about Christmas pajamas. It’s cool to care about consent. It’s cool to care about Venmoing people back right away. It’s cool to care about making an instagram account for your dog. It’s cool to care about who actually followed the Met Gala theme. It’s cool to care about social justice. It’s cool to care about getting enough sleep. It’s cool to care about having the bar down on the ski lift. It’s cool to care about Tom Brady playing another Super Bowl. It’s cool to care about getting the Lonely Ghost drop on time. It’s cool to care about what camera your favorite vlogger uses. It’s cool to care about scamming hedge fund managers. It’s cool to care about people finding freedom. It’s cool to care about being the “first like” on Lil Huddy’s latest tik tok.
It’s cool to care about finding the perfect gift for someone you love.
It’s cool to care about posting your outfits online. It’s cool to care about the Olivia/Josh/Sabrina love triangle. It’s cool to care about wearing masks. It’s cool to care about boundaries. It’s cool to care about if what you bought was made sustainably. It’s cool to care about your favorite mommy blogger’s chili recipe. (It’s always a chili recipe)
It’s cool to care about the boy you like watching your story. It’s cool to care about Minecraft. It’s cool to care about watching people play Minecraft. It’s cool to care about anniversaries of significant days. It’s cool to care about getting to the airport early. It’s cool to care about your little brother making friends at school. It’s cool to care about your future baby names. It’s cool to care about your study abroad trip to London 9 years ago.
It’s cool to care about saving drowning bee’s in the swimming pool. It’s cool to care about who the White Tiger is on the Masked Singer.
It’s cool to care about your fantasy football team name. It’s cool to care about getting a cute picture to post on your birthday.
It’s cool to care about making a good impression. It’s cool to care about meeting your idols.
It’s cool to care about keeping old concert tickets. It’s cool to care about God. It’s cool to care about why we’re on earth. It’s cool to care about where we go after. It’s cool to care about having your nails done when you get engaged.
It’s cool to care about your heritage. It’s cool to care about apologizing. It’s cool to care about a video you’re really proud of getting positive feedback.
It’s cool to care about getting the credit you deserve. It’s cool to care about if your friends are okay. It’s cool to care about finding yourself. It’s cool to care about saying I love you.
It’s 2021. It’s cool to care!!
And if you ever forget it, just know that I care too.
I think a lot of us do.
