the teenage girl survival guide
Two things that bloggers are really good at:
+ organic recipes
+ coming up with excuses why they haven't blogged in so long
I am good at neither of these things.
But I have stopped in for a day, to say what's up and to fill your heads with dramatic thinking.
Normally, this is where I would promise to post more, but my New Years resolution was to keep my promises. Yolo
I'm on the downhill slope of my senior year. However, when I say "downhill slope" I'm referring to the black diamond my uncle took me on when I was 7. (I'm still scarred.) Senior year is no bunny hill. It's anti climatic. We've waited our whole lives to become seniors, only to realize, there are no lunch room dance routines like some Disney Channel franchise made us to believe.
In the midst of all this stress, I channeled my inner Blair Waldorf and decided to leave the future generation of Jenny Humphrey's with some humbling advice. I understand that not everyone will relate to what I have to say, which is why it's mainly directed towards high school girls. Cause HEY would ya believe it??! IM A HIGH SCHOOL GIRL!
So here we go. I hope this list makes you want to run a triathlon, write a best selling novel, donate plasma, graduate with honors, or binge watch Friends on Netflix. Either way.
29 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW TO SURVIVE THE TEENAGE YEARS
1. No one is as cool as they seem on instagram. Not even Kendall Jenner. My girl Alexa Chung said it best when she wrote, "Girls, remember that the right filter can be fantastically flattering and she probably doesn't look that good in real life"
2. Watch the Bachelor. It will make you feel intelligent beyond compare.
3. Get a gym pass. For reals. Even if it's just so you can get into Vasa's dirty dancing classes for free. See you Thursday.
4. Emotions are cool. Cry when you're sad, cry when you're happy. Cry when Harry Styles turns 21.
5. But can we stop romanticizing depression?? Don't let tumblr make you think being sad is glamorous and fun.
6. Text that cutie you're crushing on. Text him TWICE! THOU SHALL NOT BE IGNORED.
7. Never use social media to express how much you hate social media. just think about that one.
8. Let people be happy DANG IT. And more importantly, be happy for them. If your best friend decides to be a scene girl, who listens to fall out boy, and panic at the disco, then let her (hi court)
9. I mean honestly, being happy for others is one of the most important things we can learn. It's hard, jealousy is real, and sometimes life's not fair. Be happy anyways.
10. People who don't comment on Instagram pictures are pebbles in the shoe of life. just do it!
11. Always treat people, with the awareness that none of us know what anyone is going through. So be good to people. It's such a wonderful legacy to leave behind.
12. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
13. "Friends" is on Netflix. ILL BE THERE FOR YOUUUUUUUU.
14. If you still can't say "J.k." Without whispering "Rowling" then, you are terribly immature, and let's be best friends.
15. You are not defined by the amount of likes on your selfie. But DO NOT EVER REGRET POSTING A CUTE PIC OF YOURSELF. This is important. Everyone deserves to feel good, to feel pretty. Even if they need to use social media to feel that way.
16. Stop comparing guys to movie characters. It will save some heartache.
17. Go to lunch with your dad. Stay up late talking to your mom about mean girls, and the cutest boy in school. You'll never regret the times you spent with your family.
18. Before continuing, get out your old JB album and scream your heart out to "one time." I know you're nostalgic of the bieber fever days. ME TOO. Today marks 3 years since the birth of my JB obsession. (I was that girl who wasn't a fan until the movie, and yes I'm still insecure about it.) oh justin, you little d bag. I remember the days when my heart would flutter upon hearing your name. May the fever rest in peace.
19. "Comparison is the thief of joy." Learn this concept. Engrave it in your mind. Once you accept that comparing yourself to others is a complete waste of time, you will be so much happier.
20. Never convince yourself Taco Bell is a bad idea. Nothing tastes good as skinny feels? has Candice Swanepoel ever tried a beefy nacho loaded griller?
21. Despite what tumblr tells us, "sex, drugs, lana" isn't a good motto to mold your life after. it’s not the best senior quote either. Sorry mom.
22. It's cool to have opinions. It's cool to know what's going on in the world. But, remember, you are not edgy and different because you have a controversial opinion.
23. Always dress like you're going to run into your ex boyfriend. Khloe Kardashian said the best revenge was a good body. I'm also typing this, while doing squats.
24. Apologize. To everyone you've ever wronged. No matter how long it's been. It's worth it, I promise.
Here, I'll start.
Taylor Swift,
I'm sorry I said your haircut was ugly.
Also I'm sorry for sending you anonymous twitter hate during the "Haylor" phase. I'm not proud of those times. I'm hoping we can move forward and support each other professionally from here on out.
(But please stop hanging out with Matty Healyyyyyy please!!!)
25. Count blessings, not calories.
26. Choose good friends. You don't have time for people who are weird about sharing their deodorant.
27. On the subject of choosing friends, it should be noted that at least one of them should be able to go bar for bar with you to Hood Mentality
28. Leave the country. I am, and it's already the best decision I've ever made. Saving every paycheck, and working over time isn't fun, but riding tuktuks in Thailand is. Set goals. Make it happen!!
29. Be nice to everyone. Everyone! High school is lame, but it's some of the best years of our lives. A couple months from now, and you'll never see half of these kids again. So say hi to strangers. say thank you to your teachers. Make a fool of yourself cheering for your basketball team. Don't over think high school, but for the LOVE, let’s try and enjoy it.
